Welcome to the Gundam Wing Hand Puppet Theatre!

Episode Seven - Pass Out Those Pink Leaflets!
Written by: Sher
Part of: White Reflection
Idea credited to: Jerry the Frog Productions



 
Treize:
Well, that last fiasco was quite entertaining, but it's time to really get this show on the road.
 



 
Lady Une:
Do I get to wear a sexy little red number and do a dance and song?
 



 
Treize:
Little red numbers are not military approved.
 



 
Lady Une:
Never mind. So what's the plan, oh one of greatness?
 



 
Treize:
We're going to lie.
 



 
Lady Une:
Deception! Lies! Coercion! I love it.
 



 
Treize:
Let's say we're going to hold a big meeting of top OZ officials at the local conference center next Saturday. To lure the Gundams in.
 



 
Lady Une:
Next Saturday...let me check my day planner.
 



 
Une:
Uh sir, I think you've made a mistake. Next Saturday is the top Alliance official meeting with all those irritating pacifists.
 



 
Treize:
...AND, point in one.
 



 
Lady Une:
Ooh.
 



 
Treize:
So the Gundams will murder ruin the peace talks and...
 



 
Lady Une:
BOOM. War breaks out. I LOVE IT.
 



 
Treize:
Something told me you might. So get those pretty pink leaflets out right away advertising our big Shriner's convention.
 



 
Lady Une:
Right-o, Your Excellency. I'll put a nice little picture of our OZ logo on the front with the IMPACT font saying "OZ officials meeting Saturday to discuss mass war and destruction". That should do it.
 



 
Treize:
Don't forget to contact a caterer. I want lots of punch and some of those nice little teacakes.
 



 
Lady Une:
I love those too. With little rosebuds in icing on top.
 



 
Treize:
Excellent.
 





*******************************************


 
Heero:
Hey, remember me?
 



 
Duo:
...unfortunately. You're the bastard who stole my Gundam parts, aren't you?
 



 
Heero:
Yea yea, let's forget that for a moment. Have you seen these pretty pink leaflets about the OZ meeting?
 



 
Duo:
No. Are they hosting a carnival or something? I love the tilt-a-whirl.
 



 
Heero:
Nope, appears they want to start a war. We should go do something about that. Want to team up?
 



 
Duo:
Funny, I didn't have you marked for a team player.
 



 
Heero:
I'm not. It's part of my master plan to kill you in the end.
 



 
Duo:
Oh. ...okay, that's cool then. I'm in!
 



 
Heero:
Something told me you might be.
 



 
Duo:
Hey, just an afterthought, but...this wouldn't be a plot, would it?
 



 
Heero:
Nah, OZ NEVER thinks of twisted plots like these!
 



 
Duo:
Oh good, just making sure!
 





*******************************************


 
Quatre:
Oh friend Trowa!!
 



 
Trowa:
GAH, do I really look like someone's friend??
 



 
Quatre:
*beams* Look at this pretty pink leaflet!
 



 
Trowa:
...it's...pink.
 



 
Quatre:
Yes, isn't it lovely? But the bad news is, OZ is planning this top-secret meeting and we need to go wreck it.
 



 
Trowa:
Is it a trap?
 



 
Quatre:
What?? OZ NEVER thinks of traps! We should go stop it, really.
 



 
Trowa:
Okay. I was looking for an excuse to run out of bullets again.
 





*******************************************


 
Wufei:
YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF LOSER MORONS TO BELIEVE OZ. I WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE WORMS WHEN THIS IS OVER. BAWAHAHAHA.
 





*******************************************


 
Marshall Noventa:
OMG the Gundams are attacking our peace conference!! Why would they do this?
 



 
Treize:
Probably something to do with those little pink leaflets. Or else they're just MEAN like that.
 



 
Marshall Noventa:
What little pink leaflets?
 



 
Treize:
Uh, you should probably get on your doomed space shuttle and die escape.
 



 
Marshall Noventa:
ALL THE PEACE OFFICIALS ON THE DOOMED SPACESHIP!! HURRY UP!
 



 
Treize:
Well, this meeting is running just as planned.
 



 
Lady Une:
CHAOS is beginning.
 



 
Treize:
Yes, lovely isn't it? But oh, I forgot to mention...we need a scapegoat.
 



 
Lady Une:
How about that ugly man no one likes? General something-or-other.
 



 
Treize:
Perfect! If he gets shot, no one will care in the least.
 



 
Treize:
Oh General Septum, why don't you join Lady Une and myself on my private jet since the Gundams have arrived to wreck havoc? We wouldn't want you injured. Or dead. *cough*
 



 
General Septem:
BWAH, that sounds excellent, I can't believe these moron colonists sending Gundams to attack the Alliance! What nonsense! Who would want to attack a pompous guy like me?
 



 
Treize:
*cough* Yes well...
 



 
General Septem:
Nice jet, Mr. Kushrenada... Very spacious.
 



 
Treize:
Why don't you LOOK OUT THE WINDOW AT THE LOVELY VIEW???
 



 
General Septem:
Oh yea. Duh.
 



 
Heero:
TIME TO KILL OZ BASTARDS!! *slash maim destroy*
 



 
Space Shuttle:
*EXPLODE*
 



 
General Septem:
OMGWTF THAT GUNDAM JUST KILLED THE PACIFIST LEADERS!!!
 



 
Lady Une:
Say Hello to my wittle friend. Mr. COLT 45.
 



 
General Septem:
AHHHHHH IT'S A BIG PLOT I'M A SCAPEGOAT!!!!
 



 
Lady Une:
Now - BIG smile and read the nice teleprompter! No adding words, deleting words, or editing the script!
 



 
General Septem:
ULP. Uh... Hey you stupid Gundam pilots - how dare you attack the peace conference and ruin my career! We will pawn ru ass!
 



 
Lady Une:
That was great General! I really think you have a lucrative career in news broadcasting and anchoring! Except for one minor little thing.
 



 
General Septem:
What's that?
 



 
Lady Une:
Your sitting on the emergency exit.
 



 
General Septem:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *falling out of the plane*
 



 
Lady Une:
We're all sure the fall would kill you, but just in case of some twisted piece of fate, I'm going to shoot you for good measure. *BAM*
 



 
Treize:
Too bad we had to shoot him. I thought he was a great news personality.
 



 
Lady Une:
Yea, but I didn't like his diction much. Pawn ru ass? What does that mean?
 



 
Treize:
Who cares? OZ has now taken over all the Alliance bases worldwide! My evil plan is working!! BWAHAHAHA.
 





*******************************************


 
Wufei:
Hey MORONS.
 



 
Heero:
Are you talking to me??
 



 
Wufei:
OH YEA. Guess what YOU just did?
 



 
Heero:
Destroyed a bunch of OZ terrorists?
 



 
Wufei:
You wish.
 



 
Duo:
Prevent the space program from reaching new heights?
 



 
Wufei:
WRONG! You all just fell right into the biggest OZ trap in history.
 



 
Quatre:
That's impossible, we all got these pretty pink leaflets.
 



 
Wufei:
And that should have told you SOMETHING.
 



 
Heero:
Uh...so...what just happened?
 



 
Wufei:
You just murdered all the Alliance peace officials. Check it out, it's on the news.
 



 
Trowa:
...Channel 41 is fading out on my Gundam, guys. What's it saying?
 



 
Duo:
WTF?
 



 
Heero:
OH SHIT.
 



 
Trowa:
THAT sounds promising... *sweatdrop*
 



 
Wufei:
OZ USED YOU ALL. BWAH.
 



 
Heero:
NO WAY.
 



 
Duo:
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
 



 
Quatre:
*SOB* SAY IT ISN'T SO!
 



 
Trowa:
...Does this mean we're now unemployed?
 



 
Treize:
THANK YA! You've been a marvelous group to work with! I look forward to our next production on Broadway!
 



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